Memories of Barbara my life long friend (In modern language my Bestie)

I met Barbara 53 years ago in 1970 when I commenced my nurse training.  I moved in to the nurses residence where Barbara was already living.  She made me feel very welcome the day I arrived and made us some tea, little did I know then, it was to be the first of many we would share together.


After a while we decided we wanted to move out of the nurses residence and found a studio flat to rent. Barbara bought a small moped and if we were both on an early shift she would give me a lift up the long drive to the hospital.  I would sit on the petrol tank hanging on for dear life.


Once, on her moped, on the way back from shopping, the handle of the carrier bag broke and I found myself chasing oranges down the road while Barbara couldn’t  move as she was in hysterics.


One lasting memory during our time at QMHC is of a staff Christmas party.  By this time, I was dating my now husband Fernando. The three of us had great fun singing and dancing the night away, getting louder and louder with the free flowing sherry.  We ended up walking home barefoot in the snow, singing all the way.  I will never know how we managed not to get ill afterwards!!!


Our lives moved on. I married Fernando, with Barbara as my chief Bridesmaid.  Barbara married John a few years later in Canada.  We each had two Children, both a girl and a boy.  My children Teresa and Daniel have many  treasured memories of the happy times we all spent together while they were growing up. 


We all became busy with work and family and at times our paths went in different directions.  However, when we did mange to catch up, it was like we had only seen each other yesterday.  


At one point John and Barbara decided to make a life in Canada.  We kept in touch by letter and although I was sorry when it didn’t work out as they had planned, I was so excited I was getting my friend back closer to me.


One of Barbaras loves was tea and scones. She would often excitedly tell me of somewhere new she had discovered that served the best scones.  I still have the recipe she gave me for ‘Ma Larkins’ scones, and often make them for my family.


She loved acquiring new teapots and buying  lampshades. She also loved bright colours, flowery tops and dresses, in her eyes nothing ever clashed.


Christmas was always a special time for Barbara, she loved the tradition, spending many a happy hour looking at Christmas decorations and making her ‘UNIQUE’ Christmas pudding.


We enjoyed going to London together on Christmas eve and once enjoyed a Carol concert at the Royal Albert Hall. Over the years we celebrated midnight mass at St Martin in the Fields, Westminster Cathedral, Westminster Abbey and enjoyed walks to see the Christmas lights and admire the tree in trafalgar square.


Barbara was so looking forward to my retirement so that we could do all the things we had promised each other.  Barbara and John  attended my retirement party and when Barbara and I left the building, I felt sure she was escorting me off the premises afraid I might change my mind and go back!  


I still cherish the retirement gift Barbara bought  me.  A pandora bracelet, which I often wear. The gift tag was so typical of her… (read gift tag).


I am glad that some our post retirement promises to each other were realised:
•including, cream tea at the Ritz to celebrate her 60th.


•enjoying going to musicals,  one of our favourites was Jersey boys, at which we sang the songs all the way through and all the way home.


•We also managed a few days away to Prague.  We had great fun at the Christmas markets and soaking up the culture of a beautiful city. We giggled like school girls, a time I will never forget.


Barbara was in the main a reserved and dignified lady ( I sometimes called her Miss Prim!!!).  She was a true and special friend, always there for me and my family.  I will be eternally grateful for her support, loyalty and advice, which was always given without judgement. 


Barbara was always very loving and caring of her family, they were her absolute priority.  It was very sad for all who knew and loved her to see her decline with Alzheimers. But John, Natalie, Frankie and Lisa were exceptional, selflessly and lovingly devoting their time to care for her during her illness.  I have so much love, respect and admiration for them all.


Finally,  I think if Barbara were to say something herself today , it may be the following.


Remember Me
 by Anthony Dowson


Speak of me as you have always done.
Remember the good times, laughter, and fun.
Share the happy memories we’ve made.
Do not let them wither or fade.
I’ll be with you in the summer’s sun
And when the winter’s chill has come.
I’ll be the voice that whispers in the breeze.
I’m peaceful now, put your mind at ease.
I’ve rested my eyes and gone to sleep,
But memories we’ve shared are yours to keep.
Sometimes our final days may be a test,
But remember me when I was at my best.
Although things may not be the same,
Don’t be afraid to use my name.
Let your sorrow last for just a while.
Comfort each other and try to smile.
I’ve lived a life filled with joy and fun.
Live on now, make me proud of what you’ll become.


Goodbye my dear friend